🗣️ JP campaign 1

Today I'll be breaking an email from Jordan Platten.

Here's Jordan Platten in his own words:

Jordan pitches his program ‘The Agency Lauch’ to his subscribers guaranteeing to help them sign 10 clients OR they don't pay.

Email 1 came on 25th Nov but I can't access it for some reason.

Email 2 on 26th Nov 👇🏾

“SL: why you can't make the agency model work”

Jordan, your agency mentor says

‘you can't do it'. you're probably going to listen.

Also, since you're trying to scale it hard,

such stuff from your own mentor lists out the -ve points or all the reasons you're going to fail.

Still, not ‘so nice’ of an SL.

“If you start an agency today…

And you DON’T lay the correct foundations…

You’re going to be left behind.”

Quite basic FOMO to know ‘the correct foundations’

“Stuck doing ONLY ‘retainer’ based deals…

Working with crappy low paying clients…

Selling an offer that nobody wants to buy…

Wondering why your agency doesn’t grow…

Struggling to get anyone you work with an ROI…

Unable to make at least $10k per month profit to live the life you want.”

Instead of telling what the correct foundations are, he keeps listing problems.

In the end, he reveals the outcome of such problems.

Complete opposite of what the agencies want. fear starts to kick in.

“But luckily:

I have a solution for you.

Find out more here(Black Friday special) “

Pretty basic copy. Giving the solution after listing pains.

For those who already know the offer,

he could've told them to skip to the end and click the link instead of adding one here.

No wonder his emails end up in my Promo Tab.

“If you missed my email yesterday…

I announced I’m launching a brand new opportunity for aspiring agency owners…

And in my opinion…

This is the BEST chance for you to own a wildly profitable agency out there.”

I think such type of copy is kinda cliche now

and you can definitely use combinations of writing tools like:

• Stories and WIIFM

• FOMO and 7 deadly sins

• Analogies for wisdom+stories

Words like IMO, best etc. are overused by fake gurus so now there's a stain everywhere.

Except the fact ofc that Jordan might have a nice audience. Then, you don't even need to hard sell.

“Here’s the deal…

Based on your unique situation, I will:

• Lay the groundwork for your agency like choosing a niche and service.

• Create the perfect offer for you to sell to clients for MAJOR profits.

• Design your outreach strategy so you can attract happy, high paying clients that are easy to work with.

• Build the foundations for your agency so it can give you long-term success by selling a service people already WANT to buy.

• And much more - like 1-1 mentorship so you can sign at least 5 clients for your new agency within three months”

The offer is a lot tailored to people wanting to scale their agencies.

He could have targetted even better with storytelling. He missed a lot.

There are 5 bullets.

I could've said about the rule of 5,

But the bullets are long it doesn't even matter.

They could've easily been shorter.

I like the 2, 3, and 4 bullets the most.

But still, these can be shorter and end with how they solve a problem.

Ex: in 3rd bullet, instead of saying how they can work with nice clients,

We could say:

‘Design your outreach strategy so you DONT stay stuck with shitty clients’

Ofc it can be better, but you get it.

“And the good news?

You can still book your call to find out more about this special opportunity today(link)”

1st email came the day before this(25th Nov).

The reason Jordan says ‘you can still book’ is probably because his products’ get bought early.

“If I were you,

I wouldn't miss out on this deal that’s currently available to you…

And I mean that.

Taking advantage of this opportunity has the potential to be life changing for you.

There isn’t another 7 figure agency owner that I know offering to build an agency for you.

[Click here to find out more about this special opportunity (ending Black Friday)]

Jordan”

Idk how much difference the “And I mean that” made,

But the following text about him being the

only 7 figure agency thats offering to build the whole agency

makes them feel special. I hope it's actually true lol.

If I had to rewrite ✍🏾 :

1)Jordan lists a lot of problems but quickly pitches the offer.

The connection bw offer and problems is weak.

I would list less problems but agitate a lot more.

OR,

just use storytelling and list out problems that came along the way.

2)The bullet part could have been shorter but better as I told how.

3)Since the offer is so tailored,

I would focus more on this unique opportunity.

I would have made it feel like it's a miracle, a 1-in-a-lifetime thing.

Yes, it isn't. But that's why I would do it.

There will be more 1-on-1’s, but this one will be special.

Do’s and Don'ts:

✔️ using bullets w/ offers

✔️ list problems and opp. dream life.

❌ Quickly shift topics

❌ Less storytelling

My main opinion for you:

Use way more stories.

People aren't gonna remember features or bullets.

They'll remember emotions,

how you made them feel.

Stories are the best to invoke emotions.

-Danish; The Profit Plot

PS: you can recommend some creator whose copy you want to be broken 🦴